I would be ruined if I went back toliving as a male and somebody found out.Knowing this I made my best effort to live as a woman. During myfirst year as a woman I would get erections watching thebeautiful strippers on stage, and I would retire to the bathroomand jack-off. But after awhile of constantly being fucked in theass and sucking huge dicks, you begin to associate sex andarousal with the presence of another cock. It became harder andharder for me to masturbate to the thought or sight of women.Rather than deal with that I simply stopped masturbating. Ihadn't used my dick in many months. Sasha stopped calling me forthreesomes with Ryan long ago, but even then my dick never madean appearance.But like I said I decided to make my best effort to live, actand think as a woman from now on, it was better than living asa she-male. I was already numb to the feeling of hard dicksplunging in my asshole. I was already numb to the feeling of aslippery cock sliding across my tongue and down. “Sorry, honey. I didn’t mean it to come out like that.” His gentle smile told me we were okay so I answered his question.“When I asked if it surprised you, I guess what I meant is that it’s inevitable that we’re closer than we were five weeks ago. Given how much time we’ve spent together, what we’ve been through at work, and that we’ve been lovers and slept together for so many nights.“But what I need you to know, Dave, honey, is that this isn’t a threat to you. Yes, I am closer to Chris. And yes, in a different way, I love him and that love’s more than it was before. But, honey, it’s nothing compared to what I feel for you.”There were tears in my eyes as I said this and saw Dave’s reaction, happy that he knew we were being honest and open with each other and that we were together overcoming and dealing with this difficult subject.It was Dave’s turn to squeeze my hand. “Thank you for being straight with me, honey. For telling me the truth, and not hiding anything or sugar-coating.
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